Man or Muppet --- or Conchord

SO HAPPY that Bret McKenzie won an Oscar for "Man or Muppet"!  And yay for Jason Segel and Walter!

As I haven't seen The Muppets (oh my gosh, aren't they supposed to show it here this February?!!!), I was quite pleased to find out that effin' Bret of Flight of the Conchords contributed to the musical genius of this movie.

I love, love Flight of the Conchords and it broke my heart when they decided to leave everyone hanging after two lovely seasons.  Actually, after seeing Jason Segel and Walter's "Man or Muppet" on thankYouTube, I immediately thought that Jason Segel would fit in perfectly as a character in Flight of the Conchords.  Maybe like a bum or a frat boy or those guys in How to Make it in America.

Interestingly, I also noticed a significant spike of traffic to this blog.  Oh well.  What can you do?  A lot of people want to marry Jason Segel.

But in order for me to edge in this competition --- ahem --- I am going to have to serenade Jason Segel via a brilliant performance by my dream buddies Jermaine and Bret.  This is kinda a daydream, maybe Jason Segel and Walter singing this song to me.  Or me and Walter singing this song to Jason Segel.

Well why not ---

If it's cool with you, I'll let you get naked too.  It could be a dream come true.  Provided that's what you are into.

Ah,  this is a perfect addition to the original soundtrack of How to Marry Jason Segel.

I am going to have to think about that "double-team" thing though.  Let's see, shall we?

How to Sleep With Jason Segel

I can't help it.  I am going to have to spill the beans and let this out.  I am online and there are things I gotta share.

I have just found out that a certain search query led to this blog: how to sleep with Jason Segel.

As I have claimed the Blogger blog title "How toMarry Jason Segel" (which turns out to be a regular query for this blog traffic --- ooh, I have fans?), maybe a primer on "How to Sleep With Jason Segel" is in order.

So let us do this.  How do you sleep with The Jason Segel?

1. Come up with a Jason Segel Seduction Plan.  Maybe you can try bribing? (not him)
2. Lure Jason Segel into a feasible space where you can "sleep with" him.  Decide whether the feasibility is horizontal, vertical, diagonal, etc.
3. Wear your birthday suit --- the one you wore last year.
4. Make sure he wears his too; it would be way nicer if he suits up though, of course.  Remember Barney Stinson's suit pajamas? I'm kidding.
5. If you do not know what happens next, I suggest you pick up a nice copy of an "intellectual" or DIY "erotic" book before Step One: The Joy of Sex for the classics, Anais Nin's Delta of Venus if you feel like a literary snob.  No, I haven't read The Joy of Sex but I remember that book from a Doogie Howser M.D. episode, the one where Doogie and Wanda are planning to do the deed.  As for Delta of Venus, yes, I have read that one --- during those early years I was a horny literary snob.
6. Ask for his number.
  6a. If Jason Segel gives you his number, good jab!  I mean, good job!
  6b. If Jason Segel does not give you his number, tell him you know a lawyer called Harvey.
7. Give your number to Jason Segel.
  7a. If he accepts your number, tell him, "Call me!"
  7b. If he does not accept your number and you fall under 6a, tell him, "I'll call you mwahahaha"
  7c. If he does not accept your number and you fall under 6b, tell him, "I know Harvey and that girl Justin Bieber got pregnant, mwahahahaha"
8. Leave me a message; I will either:
  8a. Congratulate you
  8b. Hunt you down
  8c. Haunt you down

Now you know how to sleep with Jason Segel.  How to meet him --- well, it's OUR problem!

Have an incredible Valentine's Week, you saucy minxeses.

A Jason Segel Valentine Week

So that day comes around that dreadful corner again, and girls and boys are pimping up to secure a warm body come Valentine's Tuesday.  But seriously --- why force a date out of someone if you can watch a tall and lanky teen-age Jason Segel trying to get it on with... his ex-girlfriend?

Well.  A nice date would be nicer, but Nick, in this clip, sets a standard as to how high a giggle meter should be like:

How sweet and awkward, as real life is.

Jason Segel, marry me.