Not another shrubbery!

Sometimes when the going gets tough the salvation comes in the form of Roger the Shrubber.  Take that Knights of Ni!

I can just imagine Jason Segel starring in a Monty Python skit.  He is so... John Cleese.

Bad Teacher, Good Teacher

And so I finally saw Bad Teacher and I merely chuckled through it.  It was Friday, after all, facing a weekend that inevitably lacks some nice company as my friends are booked either for their careers or their self-imposition to the dark side (and I mean this in the Sideways context).  As I wanted a break from my work life (hey, it's a Friday) and I refused to go to the dark side (though apparently I wanted to vent out in manner of Diane Keaton by the well in Baby Boomer --- thanks to cable, post-Bad Teacher), I decided to hunt for Bad Teacher in the local cinemas and finally heaved a sigh of relief when I saw that Powerplant was still showing it.  So yeah, it sorta lasted a week in most cinemas here.  Like most movies lately.

See, I didn't really think it was a bad movie.  It had its moments.  But as I have noticed in so many films lately, films have become quite empty.  You know what they say about empty tin cans ---- loud but empty.  We are being drowned by spectacle without that much of a substance.

Hey, this is not to say that movies have to be constantly, say, deep, but somehow the story has been missing.  You know?  We scriptwriters are aware that the script is the blueprint of the film, but so far due to the lack of narrative strength these movies are starting to not make sense.  Everything is built on concept it's driving me insane.  And I am not just writing this down because in the past twenty four hours I've seen the trailer of that kid movie with Jessica Alba in it --- Spy Mama? --- whatever --- at least three times and I wanted to eat my head.  I thought, if I was ten or twelve years old, would I watch that movie?  Heck, when I was twelve my favorite movies were the Terminator, Star Wars, and Alien series, My Girl, Empire of the Sun, Dead Poets Society and Hayao Miyazake's Nausicaa.  I wonder what kids today like these days.  Glee the 3D Movie?

"I need work!  I need people!  I need a social life!  I need sex!"  
Baby Boomer really made up for Bad Teacher. 

Anyways as I am not an airhead Jason Segel fan girl but a level-headed woman who admires him so much that I'd marry him (yes), I just want to express that I wish Jason Segel will eventually star in good movies.  Bad Teacher and Gulliver's Travels were disappointments albeit the fact that he was so cute in them.  I miss the Sarah Marshall and I Love You, Man type of films, but hey, I guess he should eventually move on and star in films that showcase his versatility.

Which is why I am so looking forward to the Muppets movie.

I was watching You've Got Mail earlier, and this got me thinking: maybe Jason Segel should write and star in a musical... without puppets.  You know.  Like Glee for adults which is not necessarily Mamma Mia!  Something like... Funny Girl.  But with guys.

Well, who am I to give Jason Segel advice, but I am going to express it anyway.  I really wish him longevity because I bet he loves what he does.  And I do know that he is going to be more successful than he is and frankly it will break my heart if he concedes to doing Dancing With the Stars or some celebrity-themed reality TV show for the purpose of exposure, if you know what I mean.  I hope he'll be like Tom Hanks --- why not?  As I want to marry him, it won't hurt to imagine myself in the shoes of Rita Wilson.  Yeah?

So my dear Jason Segel, here is some inspiration for you.  This is a clip from Funny Girl which is one of the funniest, epic films.  This scene is just so funny it's awesome.  Geloven!

Dear Jason Segel: Nosferatu

Dear Jason Segel,

I saw Nosferatu today at the 5th Silent Film Festival (here in Manila, Philippines --- duh).  They screened the movie with a live choir from the Far Eastern University (here in Manila, Philippines --- duh) providing the sound and music, and even though it wasn't perfect I thought I would probably dream about the movie in an hour or so (it's 1:30 in the morning here in Manila, Philippines --- duh).

The reason I am writing you about Nosferatu is that I just realized you wrote a Dracula musical for/in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Was it a real full-play on Dracula?  Because I thought that would be awesome.  People will not tire of Dracula --- heck, people won't even tire of bleeping Twilight, what more of the real classic vampyr story that do not have shrieking teenagers in it?  And I also realized, whilst watching the film, that I actually love Dracula's story.  Seriously.  I kept thinking, "I feel sorry for the cursed".  No wonder I love True Blood (not just the cursed part but the sex part as well!!!  Mwahahahahahahaha!)

Anyway, I am posting this brilliant piece called Dracula's Lament --- starring you oh brilliant you --- who else, duh.

Love,

The Girl Who Wants to Marry You, aka The Girl Who is Keeping Herself From Posting a Nasty Blog Post About that Elitist Dickhead Who Wrote in a National Newspaper Column that English is the Language of the "Learned" and that Filipino is What You Use When Talking to the Dishwasher

Less Padding for Jason Segel

So apparently Jason Segel has lost some weight. I have heard for that tidbit weeks ago, maybe in some clips along with the Bad Teacher promo. Again, by some accident I saw this Letterman interview, and --- well, well, well --- he looks mighty great. Slimmer and leaner. As I've said I liked him even with that bit of padding, but of course I think it's great that he's been "eating less" and doing some exercise. Since I have been trying to be leaner and slimmer lately as well, I relate to him a lot.

(Oh, and Jason Segel, what I meant by me trying to be leaner and slimmer does not mean I am overweight. I was just thinner when I was younger because I was more athletic, and I have recently grown into a woman with a bit of curves.)

Anyways, thankYouTube, I just saw this whole interview and I must say that in addition to the fact that he is looking incredible I thought he was really funny. This is the kind of guy I would love to hang out with, and it seems that his sense of humor is that special kind: with a hint of slapstick but smarter. He wrote and starred Forgetting Sarah Marshall which, in my opinion, is one of the best rom-coms since this millenium began. Something a Woody Allen enthusiast would love as well.

I realized I've only seen very few Jason Segel interviews --- maybe about two. Well, this just shows that even though I want to marry him I am not obsessed with him, and seriously I haven't even seen Bad Teacher. Not because I don't want to see it, but because the theaters here in Manila is not showing it yet.

Now I wonder if it was picked up for local distribution at all. I hope they'll show it, the theaters are crazy if they didn't as the movie has an obvious market here.

In the meantime, here's the Letterman interview:



Geez. He has a lucky assistant to see him sleep with Taco Bell wrappers on his chest. He could have worn a bigger shirt to hide that belly! (hahaha)

I have also recently learned that my supposed trip to Sta Monica this year for the American Film Market had to be scrapped from this year's plans. That made me quite sad. True, I would probably have the same chance as I did last June when I was in LA, but heck, we all like to take shots at the moon. Ergo, I must meet Jason Segel before marrying right?

Is there some cosmic force out there that will at least lead me to step one? I hope so.

Dear Jason Segel (and directly quoting ee cummings)

You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.

Come with me, then,
And we'll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.

Ah, come with me!
I'll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I'll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probable stars;
I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.

- e.e. cummings

Slapping the Bass

Here's a Dylan cover brought to you by DMB. I hope Jason Segel likes this stuff --- I kinda assume he does.

On a (Imagined) Vacation with Jason Segel: Metro Manila

A year ago I came up with a travel itinerary for a guy I really liked so I thought maybe I can come up with one for Jason Segel should he decide to visit the Philippines.  Since I am a true sucker for traveling, travel "plans" is one of my specialties as, come to think of it, I do not really make plans in strict-itinerary sense.  Call it a rough guide, a draft map, a shot at the moon.  Trust me --- the said guy that I liked claimed that he had an incredible time.  And so did I.

But of course, the main difference is that I was actually traveling with this guy that I really liked, and Jason Segel, well, he does not even know I exist.

As I am currently a bored gal thinking of places to go, might as well go the blog venue, take the fantasy of Jason Segel, and write away... eh?

MANILA

Never underestimate Manila's notoriety for traffic, pollution, population, and yeah, maybe a bit of so-called "eyesores" here and there.  They're all true.  I've lived in Manila all my life and these things still amaze me.  I went to work this morning and spent almost three hours on my arse driving, all the way from the suburban north to an office tower in Makati.  Three hours can already take you to Subic or Clark field.  See, urban traffic is really bad.  Those who protest or get offended have nothing better to do but to protest.  So we agree--- it can be hell driving around Manila.

And so does driving in LA.

So what I am saying is that as traffic is horrendous in this city that I love/hate, this opens up more chances of spontaneous explorations!  Discover side streets and "secret passages".  The initial intention to drive all the way to Quezon City for the best street foods courtesy of the Diliman campus of the University of the Philippines can lead to a sudden reroute to Taguig where the infamous balut (duck embryo-egg) is made.  Or you can get a small paper plate of Chinese noodles for ten bucks somewhere in Quiapo, that place where Andrew Zimmern of Bizaare Foods visited for the show's episode on the Philippines.  Or there is always the Manila Bay and the restaurants where you can purchase your fresh sea food and stalls will cook them for you for a fee.

See, wherever you go, there is always something that Manila has to offer.  And I guess this is something Jason Segel will love based on the following points:

1. Jason Segel is a musician --- Manila has one of the best (secret) music scenes in the world.  Whether Jason is up for some nice and serious loungey music in the city, ie Sinosikat in Martini's at the Mandarin Oriental or some serious unsigned underground music, Manila is the best place to fulfill one's hunger for a diverse auditory hunger.  Independent bands play in venues such as Saguijo, Bside at The Collective, 70s Bistro, and a host of others in various parts of the metro.  Music veterans play in venues like the Music Museum and hotel bars, retro music is the surefire Friday tunes in RJ Bistro at the Intercontinental Manila, and for the clubbing experience, talented DJs have been spinning in places like M Cafe, Repuliq, Time, and a host of others.

See, if you are a brilliant musician like Jason Segel, Manila is a great place to explore.  Besides, I can imagine him hanging out with the likes of Ely Buendia, Jugs and Kel, and even Sammy Asuncion.  Naaaakks.

2. Jason Segel is an actor --- okay, so commercial-movies-wise I am not sure if this is Jason Segel's cup of tea (sorry), but I guess he'll have a blast watching "indie" films.  From the quirky Maximo Oliveros to the latest Quark Henares film on rock and roll to... say, a Brillante Mendoza film.  Come on!  We have incredible undiscovered talents here, these treasures come in secret handfuls!

3. Jason Segel, I would assume, likes to eat (and drink) --- Manila will never be far behind when it comes to culinary experiences.  And drinking, of course!  Wine bars like Cav and Barcino's are great places to just open a nice bottle and unwind whereas local stores sell the latest flavored drink based on the local vodka.  You name it, Manila (and the rest of the Philippines) is very much in the wave that can please one's palate and attack one's liver.  Yowza.

4. Jason Segel, I would assume, likes to see things --- Manila has the most astounding ("astounding" in different meanings, haha) scene in the world.  All sorts of buildings, all sorts of people, all sorts of things to do... which includes sitting in traffic for an hour to go someplace that is fifteen minutes away on Sundays... seriously.  Manila is the place to be.

So, on this (imagine) Manila vacation with Jason Segel, here is my Top 5 things to do:

1. Take the walking historical tour with Carlos Celdran, etc.  Walk should include Intramuros and the Chinese cemetery.
2. Eat and drink our way around the city.
3. Ride public transpo to see the real Manila (MRT, LRT, PUJs, tricycle, sidecar... taxi?)
4. Walk the stretch of Roxas Boulevard from the Manila Bay to the Sofitel (end the journey with a nice drink at the poolside bar)
5. Participate in a noontime show and play games.  I would highly recommend Eat Bulaga... and then maybe we can visit the one on the other network!

So there you have it.  This vacation will definitely mix Hangover 2 and Lost and Translation.  Where else can you have an experience like that?

So come to me, baby.

PS - Oooohh, 30 minutes more and I then I get to go home.  Will continue thinking of silly things!