Neurolinguistic Programming Jason Segel - Part Three

My apologies for this delay, my lovelies, but last week I got swamped with work.  Or rather, I was quite surprised that I had too much work that I spent a lot of time wondering how to actually work.  You know how it is.   Hang time has ended.  Ass off the couch.  Fingers-a-tappin', makin' things happen.

I kinda wondered if this unplanned (reverse) hiatus would affect my plans to marry Jason Segel.  I was very Jason Segel-less last week.  I never saw an episode of How I Met Your Mother, though I think I saw a news clip about his latest Muppets project (yaaaay).  It was just work, and a couple of attempts to get drunk.  The latter was a failure, but I am happy to say I managed to go on a nightout with my Finnish friend by starting it off with the uber-brilliant Let Me In and then drinks around Makati with a sweet reggae ending at the New Penguin.  I had to surrender by 2AM as I had a date with my father to watch the Pacquiao-Margarito fight at the Newport Cinemas by 10AM, a show that I was not planning to enjoy, but indeed, I did.

Now that we're done with some explanations, let's get this neurolinguistic programming thing a move on since I have probably mentioned it a month ago.  Yes, it's been too damn long, but we're doing it now, as in, right now!

So we are now on the second column which I am going to label with Traits Jason Segel Will Want in a Woman He'll Likely Want to Marry.  Ideally, the first column (which was the previous blog) should match the second, hence, Item Number One in Column One should match Item Number Two in Column Two.  But maybe that's not how it works.  Let's do a rundown instead with the obvious.

Jason Segel is 30 years old.  He lives in California, USA.  He is an actor, musician, scriptwriter.  He is very talented.  He is a celebrity.  He's friends with Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Jude Apatow, and those string of, well, guys who are known as the today's Hollywood Bratpack.  Or Ratpack.  Whatever.  You know, that group held by their, uh, "seniors" i.e. Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, the Wilson Brothers, etc.  He stands six feet four.  He plays basketball, or at least played basketball.  He's rich and famous.  He loves puppets.  He most likely likes classic rock, maybe some reggae, and yes, the Swell Season.  He writes songs.  The local promo of How I Met Your Mother dubs his character Marshall Eriksen as the "Gentle Giant" (like a butanding?  Hahaha).  Anyway, that's all I know.  Maybe it's safe to say that he is a nice guy, maybe not into (too much) drugs, but he probably parties.  I remember a rumor from a while ago involving him with Lindsay Lohan (WHAT THE FUCK?).

So based on these, what can a guy like this want in a woman?  Hmmm.

Okay, I am going to do my best.

I think it is a given that his eyes will drift towards girl who are also in his world.  You know, like actresses, celebrities, models, singers.  He will probably want a tall girl or just someone who will not look like a midget beside him.  The girl has to understand his life and his celebrity, hence, the girl needs to be in that world OR someone who will NOT nag him about rumors, his busy schedule, his partying, the girls that throw their used thongs at him, etc.  That sort.  Maybe we can also say that he might like someone who appreciates some sport, maybe basketball.  Someone who appreciates his likes.  Someone who will accept his puppets.  Someone who will not get jealous of his Bromances.

Alright, these are assumptions but they are valid.  I don't know what his world is like, but based on the showbiz world here (which is pretty, uhm...), a few episodes of Entourage (haha) and TMZ (yeah, I LOVE TMZ), and the fact that I am NOT stupid, he is not just any regular guy.  But this is what we all have: assumptions.  I know someone who used to work in Hollywood who eventually left the industry because he could no longer take it.  When I was asking him general production questions, his first question was, "Do you have the stomach for it?"  I know I am not made for Hollywood, and I actually HATE the mechanisms of the local industry, so I guess I am going to have to root my own assumptions based on the idea that Jason Segel is just a regular guy who lives in a non-regular world.

I know.  Like in that movie.  What's that called?  Camp Rock?

I can make assumptions based on instinct, in those moments you see the person based on many composites.  What I do know is that Jason Segel (I hope) is not cookie cutter Hollywood.  He is having a great time, and he is a lucky guy to be doing what he loves.

I think Jason Segel will fall in-love with a girl who is smart but not crazy intelligent.  Someone who appreciates the irony and the humor in his works.  Maybe someone who has a bit of talent, maybe in the arts.  Or someone who has the appreciation for the arts, but not threatening enough that the Muppets will seem too kitschy.  A girl with certain eccentricities who is strongheaded enough to tell him what to do.  Someone who will surprise him with Rush songs or Swell Season songs or Bob Marley songs or maybe some Led Zep.  Maybe the girl plays the guitar and together they get to sing a song (hahahaha).  This girl is funny and can hold herself around his boyfriends.

Alright, above all, the most important thing about this girl is ---- she is someone he knows.  Or someone will know.  I mean, heck, if the girl of his dreams lives in some mountain community in Central Asia, it's kinda pointless that she exists in that context and he does not know about her?

Talk about ending up with the 100%-t Perfect Girl!

So anyway, my second column is quite obscure, but I think this is foundation enough for me to build on Column Three which is... What I Must Do To End Up Marrying Jason Segel That Does Not Involve Killing the Girl He Will Likely Want to Marry.  Strategy, strategy!

Alright, I'm off to bed as it's midnight and... I still have so much work to do tomorrow (UGH).