UPDATE: Apparently the Jason Segel SNL stint has been generally raved about. And I saw a review via a link at The Huffington Post (yes, I read it for the Lifestyle section --- kidding, not) which ends up... here, the AOL TV website
I just want to say congratulations and mucho mucho mucho kisses to you Jason Segel! I can't wait to watch your episode... when SNL gets a rerun here next year,
Sometimes I pop in here just to re-read the incredibly silly things I've written and --- yes --- as this blog is Google-powered, I actually have the power to see the traffic stats. So yes, I know that YOU are reading this, most likely for the obvious reason: you want to know if Jason Segel is married or if there is a surefire way to marry him.
As of press time (haha) he is not (married, that is). As of his recent press release, he does not even have a personal life, which can be deliriously translated as, "I do not have a girlfriend". As per his recent interviews, he works seven days a week and should he have time not to work, he might spend it on the essentials of being alive which include eating and sleeping (or paying a visit to this particular "station" in his man-cave).
Apparently, he does not have time to see anyone nor maybe even "like" a girl in a high school-crush kind of way in which he ends up shuffling his feet behind this lucky woman, scratching his head, and eventually asking, "So, what are you doing Friday night?"
But as we are not in his life, what do we know. Showbiz has tons of conspiracy. Look at Kim Kardashian. She managed to pull off a legal wedding with legit pay-offs. What's with telling people "I'm single" and still live a double life? I mean, last night there was this entertainment show (Insider? I can't remember) which "exploded" the "headline" that Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart-or-Stuart-whatever might have "secretly" married, which, of course, gave way to a (stupid) Twilight promo that merely features the Bella-Edward wedding scene. I mean, come on. If Shakespeare managed to secretly keep a wife (from Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love, haha!), Jason Segel can do that as well!
Kinda strange I am writing this in a blog dedicated to the "how-to" of marrying a celebrity, huh. Obviously I am pissed at something not Jason Segel-related and I am just being my insane self.
See, conspiracies.
Maybe this has something to do with my seeing The Invention of Lying last night on HBO. The concept was terrific, it just felt dry overall but I generally liked it. Lying is a necessity, you need to understand. So if we adore Jason Segel, we just like the idea that he is not married. It's for the good of his celebrity. We are buying into the illusion that we can have that.
So. The question remains. Is Jason Segel dating someone? Does he have a girlfriend? Did he shag someone last night, last Friday night, that moment when Berlusconi resigned from power?
The answer is --- to quote Shakespeare in Love --- "I don't know, it's a mystery."
The thing with living in the Philippines is that you are not so sure if the American show you're watching is current or a replay. But anyway, I just happened on Jason Segel on Jay Leno and I wasn't so sure at first if it's a recent interview despite the fact that the local cable channel has that "via satellite" mark at the upper left corner (which they sometimes "accidentally" include in reruns). I like to assume that the interview is pretty recent as Jason Segel talked about the Muppets movie and this thing Judd Apatow recently tweeted about him needing some personal stories. Oh, and of course he did this surprisingly good Andre the Giant impression --- You want a peanut?, Jason Segel growled.
I have been personally going through a challenging period, in addition to the fact that I had gotten really busy, hence I kinda had to put my "quest to marry" Jason Segel in the backseat. But as I currently have some substantial time in my hands, the flame was, uh, re-flamed and I thought that he was hilarious and lovely and if I had a peanut I would shell it for him.
I found out the other day that the Muppets movie will be shown here in Manila in fucking February 2012. That's insane. To be honest I wasn't really into the Muppets growing up --- although of course I knew them --- but I am seriously looking forward to see this movie. I do not really have any memory of being in-love with the Muppets which is why I think, as Jason mentioned in the interview, it would be great to have them back. In this Hollywood era of reruns and rehash, I must say the Muppets does deserve a slot in this current wave... which I hope will end soon (oh Hollywood, are you aware that the global film community is laughing at you now?)
Anyway. I have of course mentioned the obvious and that is the email address Jason Segel mentioned in the show. I can't remember what the email address is but if he's looking for personal stories to recite to people who interview him, he can just say he's been searching for that girl from the other side of the world who has been blogging about marrying him --- which is, surprisingly, in a non-stalking manner.
And by the way, I just read somewhere that Jason Segel smokes. Well. I smoked a lot in college and I still smoke occasionally, but I wish he'll minimize the lung poison. He will never be on the cover of Men's Health if he keeps at it. Oh, and if the Jay Leno interview is recent, I must say he's looking pretty pretty good. Can't wait to see the abs.
--- alright, not Montauk, but I am oscillating between the universes of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Sex and the City. I wonder why. Hmmm.
But. I am going to be at the Busan International Film Festival this week by way of the Asian Film Market.
And so I finally saw Bad Teacher and I merely chuckled through it. It was Friday, after all, facing a weekend that inevitably lacks some nice company as my friends are booked either for their careers or their self-imposition to the dark side (and I mean this in the Sideways context). As I wanted a break from my work life (hey, it's a Friday) and I refused to go to the dark side (though apparently I wanted to vent out in manner of Diane Keaton by the well in Baby Boomer --- thanks to cable, post-Bad Teacher), I decided to hunt for Bad Teacher in the local cinemas and finally heaved a sigh of relief when I saw that Powerplant was still showing it. So yeah, it sorta lasted a week in most cinemas here. Like most movies lately.
See, I didn't really think it was a bad movie. It had its moments. But as I have noticed in so many films lately, films have become quite empty. You know what they say about empty tin cans ---- loud but empty. We are being drowned by spectacle without that much of a substance.
Hey, this is not to say that movies have to be constantly, say, deep, but somehow the story has been missing. You know? We scriptwriters are aware that the script is the blueprint of the film, but so far due to the lack of narrative strength these movies are starting to not make sense. Everything is built on concept it's driving me insane. And I am not just writing this down because in the past twenty four hours I've seen the trailer of that kid movie with Jessica Alba in it --- Spy Mama? --- whatever --- at least three times and I wanted to eat my head. I thought, if I was ten or twelve years old, would I watch that movie? Heck, when I was twelve my favorite movies were the Terminator, Star Wars, and Alien series, MyGirl, Empire of the Sun, Dead Poets Society and Hayao Miyazake's Nausicaa. I wonder what kids today like these days. Glee the 3D Movie?
"I need work! I need people! I need a social life! I need sex!" Baby Boomer really made up for Bad Teacher.
Anyways as I am not an airhead Jason Segel fan girl but a level-headed woman who admires him so much that I'd marry him (yes), I just want to express that I wish Jason Segel will eventually star in good movies. Bad Teacher and Gulliver's Travels were disappointments albeit the fact that he was so cute in them. I miss the Sarah Marshall and I Love You, Man type of films, but hey, I guess he should eventually move on and star in films that showcase his versatility.
Which is why I am so looking forward to the Muppets movie.
I was watching You've Got Mail earlier, and this got me thinking: maybe Jason Segel should write and star in a musical... without puppets. You know. Like Glee for adults which is not necessarily Mamma Mia! Something like... Funny Girl. But with guys.
Well, who am I to give Jason Segel advice, but I am going to express it anyway. I really wish him longevity because I bet he loves what he does. And I do know that he is going to be more successful than he is and frankly it will break my heart if he concedes to doing Dancing With the Stars or some celebrity-themed reality TV show for the purpose of exposure, if you know what I mean. I hope he'll be like Tom Hanks --- why not? As I want to marry him, it won't hurt to imagine myself in the shoes of Rita Wilson. Yeah?
So my dear Jason Segel, here is some inspiration for you. This is a clip from Funny Girl which is one of the funniest, epic films. This scene is just so funny it's awesome. Geloven!
I saw Nosferatu today at the 5th Silent Film Festival (here in Manila, Philippines --- duh). They screened the movie with a live choir from the Far Eastern University (here in Manila, Philippines --- duh) providing the sound and music, and even though it wasn't perfect I thought I would probably dream about the movie in an hour or so (it's 1:30 in the morning here in Manila, Philippines --- duh).
The reason I am writing you about Nosferatu is that I just realized you wrote a Dracula musical for/in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Was it a real full-play on Dracula? Because I thought that would be awesome. People will not tire of Dracula --- heck, people won't even tire of bleeping Twilight, what more of the real classic vampyr story that do not have shrieking teenagers in it? And I also realized, whilst watching the film, that I actually love Dracula's story. Seriously. I kept thinking, "I feel sorry for the cursed". No wonder I love True Blood (not just the cursed part but the sex part as well!!! Mwahahahahahahaha!)
Anyway, I am posting this brilliant piece called Dracula's Lament --- starring you oh brilliant you --- who else, duh.
Love,
The Girl Who Wants to Marry You, aka The Girl Who is Keeping Herself From Posting a Nasty Blog Post About that Elitist Dickhead Who Wrote in a National Newspaper Column that English is the Language of the "Learned" and that Filipino is What You Use When Talking to the Dishwasher
