Blimey, turkey!

I've never been to any Thanksgiving whatsit EVER; I think there are some, uh, americanized Filipinos here in Manila who actually celebrate T-day, or maybe they just want to go with the American flow of throwing some lavish turkey and potatoes party just so they can say they celebrate Thanksgiving even though the celebration involved English (and maybe Dutch?) religious separatists and Native Americans these white settlers would end up slaughtering and displacing (oooohhh).  So yeah, go Pocahontas.

Anyway, I am not in this position to care for Thanksgiving but I am thankful, and as I am a regular contributor to this American food blog/website, my head has been spinning with articles on Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving recipes.

See, I love food.  And I have yet to have a Thanksgiving meal.  But anyway, I think writing about it in the past several days have somehow turned me into a semi-expert, and I cannot help but --- for today's episode --- put together a Thanksgiving meal plan for Jason Segel!

Hmm.  It is kinda creepy.  Haha.

But I LOVE COOKING, and I watch Top Chef and cooking shows every chance I get.  So hey, I ALWAYS fantasize about putting together a meal plan and go on about the Nigella Lawson and Ina Garten route (honestly, I would rather stay my size, but I worship these domestic goddesses).

As it is several hours into the fourth Thursday of November on this side of the planet, I shall indulge myself and share a Thanksgiving food fantasy should I have Jason Segel on my table (as a diner, not in an operating table scenario).

Side Dishes / Appetizers
People don't call Thanksgiving Turkey Day if there's no turkey, so I think that the side dishes should be at least healthy yet tasty!  So... I am kinda going via the vegetarian route.  Uh-huh.  So feast on the following:

- Red pepper and soaked cashew hummus with a drizzle of white truffle oil
- A bread, chips and vegetables platter (toasted whole wheat pita bread, baked chili potato slivers, toasted cornbread chips, carrots, zucchini)
- Quinoa-stuffed portobello mushrooms
- Classic pumpkin soup with sour cream
- Salted popcorn (can't help it!  Hey--- it's Thanksgiving food)

Fowl
- A roasted wild turkey.  Yes --- not the generic type, will have someone hunt a wild turkey instead.  Apparently it's more humane this way.  If the hunting fails, it's gonna be a heritage turkey.  Third in line is goose.
- Spicy and sweet cranberry glaze

Stuffing
- Any great recipe using sourdough bread for the turkey soaked in spices, herbs and turkey drippings.  Except for the goose --- should be Scandinavian-style with apple and prune stuffing.

Dessert
- Cheese and fruit platter (rocquefort, reggiano parmigiano, sharp cheddar, camembert drizzled with honey, grapes, apples, pears)
- Pumpkin pie with sticky toffee nut and pecan topping
- Cranberry danish with home-made vanilla ice cream

Drink
RED WINE!
Pumpkin pie martini (seriously)
Warm spiced wine

So that's a Thanksgiving suggestion.  I wonder how Jason Segel is gonna celebrate today.  Is he going to be with family? With friends?  With family and friends?  With friends and lovers?  His Brofriends?  His puppet collection in his secret room of his secret room of puppets?









So far I am just working, trying not to get pissed (yeah, been a pretty BAD week), and looking forward to cap off the night with --- wait for it --- Jeffrey Jeturian's Tuhog.  Apparently a friend implies it's the best Filipino movie in the last 20 years, and seriously, in that field, I am looking for something --- anything --- to be thankful for.  I hope this movie will do it.

But Temptation Island still takes the cookie for its utter uniqueness --- because this is where beauty queens turn into sex queens!  Woot.  Thank you, Gosiengfiao.

Neurolinguistic Programming Jason Segel - Part Four

At the moment I am enjoying this huge mug of instant chocolate oatmeal and playing Sigur Ros on my iTunes --- small pleasures that I do deserve as I am down with a bit of temperature paired with a sneezing fest.  And I am in a bit of pain, a headache is about to start, but I am forcing myself to sit on my chair and work on my laptop.  Let me complain.

Hence, this is probably not the best time to neurolingustic-program Jason Segel, but I miss writing here, and it's been about a week.  I want to write here more, but I have been writing too much.  All I do is write, it's driving me insane.

But let me write down the third column of this exercise and wrap up this neurolinguistic programming thing as there are a number of things I should do in order to end up marrying Jason Segel.  Afterall, that's the title of my blog, right?  We have a mission, and we're in this position to fulfill that mission!  Yeah!

So here goes ---

I think I gave this third column the title What I Must Do to End Up Marrying Jason Segel Without Killing the Woman He Will Likely Want to Marry, or a variation of that sort.  Now this is the part I remember the fortune teller told me to do.  This column should be a logical action list stemming from Columns 1 and Columns 2.  If I wrote in Column 1 that Jason Segel is brilliant, and in Column 2 he will likely want a brilliant girl, hence Column 3 is about me being brilliant!

Yay, we're on the road towards becoming our bright and shiny selves!

But I am going to be more specific.  I am not going to write down why I am brilliant already (haha), but in true rules of attraction fashion (and I have no idea what those rules are), it is all about, well, opening my world to the world of Jason Segel.

Well ok, maybe it is not feasible I go to the U.S. now but there are some things about Jason Segel that I am not about yet.

So let's begin.

1) Music Appreciation - Jason Segel is a brilliant musician.  I am never going to be a brilliant musician but at least music is part of my life. And I PLAYED the drums back in high school for a rock band, and I could hit Hole, Alanis Morisette, Green Day (just one song) and Gin Blossom, among others.  But I haven't been in-front of a drum set for, say, ten years?  Still --- there was that time.

Anyway, remember that scene in that fun movie Love, Actually?  The kid wanting to play drums because his crush likes drummers?  This exercise is something to that effect.

The thing is I have no problems at all appreciating music; I am a huge music lover.  BUT --- I think I read somewhere --- Jason Segel likes classic rock (think Rush) and reggae.  To be honest I don't listen to these all the time because, well, my personal preferences tend to lean towards alternative, indie, ambient, all that stuff.  I can see that his taste, based on classic and reggae, is more classic; I tend to be more progressive.

So let's shall marry them together!

I think the first step is to nurture (not force) an appreciation for classic rock gods.  Maybe I'll start with Rush; now this is a Rush song that I actually like.  And then I can continue on with, uh, The Scorpions? Dream Theater?  But hey, my current It song is "One Day" by Matisyahu.  Now that's reggae, huh.  Yeah mon.

2) Muppets Appreciation - alright, alright I know who they are but I did not grow up watching them!  Unless the Muppets are the guys on Sesame Street?  No?  Well, I do know Kermit and Miss Piggy and the Cookie Monster and Elmo... wait, am I mixing things up?  Hahaha.

ALRIGHT.  So here's what I am going to do.  I will watch Muppets movies; I'll look for them.  Besides, this is probably something my nephew will enjoy... on one note, my nephew, who is 2 years-old, loves "Laura Palmer's Prom" by You Say Party!  We Say Die! and "Not Going Home" by The Elected.  But then he loves Spongebob, Toy Story, Benten and High-Five.  The Muppets will be a no-brainer.  See, I am such a cool aunt.

3) I'll start playing the guitar again and sing - I used to have this fantasy that one day I would whip out a guitar, play Dave Matthews Band's "Crush" (the version with Tim Reynolds --- tignan ko lang!), and sing the song.  The thing is, although I used to play the guitar A LOT, I can't stand it when my fingertips get swollen.  And whatever I do I can't sing like Dave Matthews even though he does that falsetto thing. So.  I have somebody's guitar downstairs, and I can get chords online this time.  I used to that exercise a few months ago when I tried playing Natasha Beddingfield's version of "The Scientist".  See, I can do it.

Okay, I am not doing this just so I can join Jason Segel on stage, maybe with Swell Season, and join in the session. But then again, why not.  I'll do an interpretative dance number instead.  I'll ask Paul Rudd to join me.

4) Watch all his movies and find a copy of Freaks and Geeks - apparently, there was this cool show back in the 1990s called Freaks and Geeks, and yeah, Jason Segel and his Broyfriends were part of it.  I had no idea what that show is.  Well, I think when it came out (1997?) I was busy watching something else --- The Practice and Ally McBeal.

But apparently, this was some brilliant show that I missed.  Watch Jason Segel sing with that weird girl "Jesus is just alright".




See, JESUS, it's not alright we're missing out on good shows like Freaks and Geeks!

Well, is this the end of NLPing Jason Segel?  Let me see if I'll come up with more.  Stay tuned!

Neurolinguistic Programming Jason Segel - Part Three

My apologies for this delay, my lovelies, but last week I got swamped with work.  Or rather, I was quite surprised that I had too much work that I spent a lot of time wondering how to actually work.  You know how it is.   Hang time has ended.  Ass off the couch.  Fingers-a-tappin', makin' things happen.

I kinda wondered if this unplanned (reverse) hiatus would affect my plans to marry Jason Segel.  I was very Jason Segel-less last week.  I never saw an episode of How I Met Your Mother, though I think I saw a news clip about his latest Muppets project (yaaaay).  It was just work, and a couple of attempts to get drunk.  The latter was a failure, but I am happy to say I managed to go on a nightout with my Finnish friend by starting it off with the uber-brilliant Let Me In and then drinks around Makati with a sweet reggae ending at the New Penguin.  I had to surrender by 2AM as I had a date with my father to watch the Pacquiao-Margarito fight at the Newport Cinemas by 10AM, a show that I was not planning to enjoy, but indeed, I did.

Now that we're done with some explanations, let's get this neurolinguistic programming thing a move on since I have probably mentioned it a month ago.  Yes, it's been too damn long, but we're doing it now, as in, right now!

So we are now on the second column which I am going to label with Traits Jason Segel Will Want in a Woman He'll Likely Want to Marry.  Ideally, the first column (which was the previous blog) should match the second, hence, Item Number One in Column One should match Item Number Two in Column Two.  But maybe that's not how it works.  Let's do a rundown instead with the obvious.

Jason Segel is 30 years old.  He lives in California, USA.  He is an actor, musician, scriptwriter.  He is very talented.  He is a celebrity.  He's friends with Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Jude Apatow, and those string of, well, guys who are known as the today's Hollywood Bratpack.  Or Ratpack.  Whatever.  You know, that group held by their, uh, "seniors" i.e. Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, the Wilson Brothers, etc.  He stands six feet four.  He plays basketball, or at least played basketball.  He's rich and famous.  He loves puppets.  He most likely likes classic rock, maybe some reggae, and yes, the Swell Season.  He writes songs.  The local promo of How I Met Your Mother dubs his character Marshall Eriksen as the "Gentle Giant" (like a butanding?  Hahaha).  Anyway, that's all I know.  Maybe it's safe to say that he is a nice guy, maybe not into (too much) drugs, but he probably parties.  I remember a rumor from a while ago involving him with Lindsay Lohan (WHAT THE FUCK?).

So based on these, what can a guy like this want in a woman?  Hmmm.

Okay, I am going to do my best.

I think it is a given that his eyes will drift towards girl who are also in his world.  You know, like actresses, celebrities, models, singers.  He will probably want a tall girl or just someone who will not look like a midget beside him.  The girl has to understand his life and his celebrity, hence, the girl needs to be in that world OR someone who will NOT nag him about rumors, his busy schedule, his partying, the girls that throw their used thongs at him, etc.  That sort.  Maybe we can also say that he might like someone who appreciates some sport, maybe basketball.  Someone who appreciates his likes.  Someone who will accept his puppets.  Someone who will not get jealous of his Bromances.

Alright, these are assumptions but they are valid.  I don't know what his world is like, but based on the showbiz world here (which is pretty, uhm...), a few episodes of Entourage (haha) and TMZ (yeah, I LOVE TMZ), and the fact that I am NOT stupid, he is not just any regular guy.  But this is what we all have: assumptions.  I know someone who used to work in Hollywood who eventually left the industry because he could no longer take it.  When I was asking him general production questions, his first question was, "Do you have the stomach for it?"  I know I am not made for Hollywood, and I actually HATE the mechanisms of the local industry, so I guess I am going to have to root my own assumptions based on the idea that Jason Segel is just a regular guy who lives in a non-regular world.

I know.  Like in that movie.  What's that called?  Camp Rock?

I can make assumptions based on instinct, in those moments you see the person based on many composites.  What I do know is that Jason Segel (I hope) is not cookie cutter Hollywood.  He is having a great time, and he is a lucky guy to be doing what he loves.

I think Jason Segel will fall in-love with a girl who is smart but not crazy intelligent.  Someone who appreciates the irony and the humor in his works.  Maybe someone who has a bit of talent, maybe in the arts.  Or someone who has the appreciation for the arts, but not threatening enough that the Muppets will seem too kitschy.  A girl with certain eccentricities who is strongheaded enough to tell him what to do.  Someone who will surprise him with Rush songs or Swell Season songs or Bob Marley songs or maybe some Led Zep.  Maybe the girl plays the guitar and together they get to sing a song (hahahaha).  This girl is funny and can hold herself around his boyfriends.

Alright, above all, the most important thing about this girl is ---- she is someone he knows.  Or someone will know.  I mean, heck, if the girl of his dreams lives in some mountain community in Central Asia, it's kinda pointless that she exists in that context and he does not know about her?

Talk about ending up with the 100%-t Perfect Girl!

So anyway, my second column is quite obscure, but I think this is foundation enough for me to build on Column Three which is... What I Must Do To End Up Marrying Jason Segel That Does Not Involve Killing the Girl He Will Likely Want to Marry.  Strategy, strategy!

Alright, I'm off to bed as it's midnight and... I still have so much work to do tomorrow (UGH).

Neurolinguistic Programming Jason Segel - Part Two

And so this goes.

Let me begin this entry by giving a brief review. About two or three posts ago, I talked about neurolinguistic programming, also known as NLP. I also mentioned how I got introduced to NLP, not by any scientific resource but through this fortune teller who probably took pity on me as it seemed I could not get myself a chap. And so he told me what I should do. So ta-da, neurolinguistic programming.

As my blogging know-how is limited to very basic functions, obviously I cannot do the NLP table the said fortune teller told me to execute. And as I do not want to go through the process of scanning this handwritten document I have just finished (oh man), I guess this NLP entry will just have to go on for three more parts, for columns one, two and three.

The first column is tricky as I am supposed to write down what I want in a guy, whether this guy is Jason Segel or not. But since, through this blog, I am in this quest of eventually marrying Jason Segel, well, I guess I'll just have to put down stuff I LOVE about him!

However, it's quite corny to write down --- AGAIN --- what I love about this guy. I am not a psycho-fan, I am a woman who has come to this point, after a series of MISSES when it comes to men, of realizing that hey, these standards are bullshit. This guy makes me feel warm in a Stevie Wonder-you-make-me-smile-you-make-me-sing kind of way.

So instead of writing it down, I have decided to post this instead, which pretty much summarizes a lot of things. And this video actually finally DID IT.



Now the next step is to figure out what kind of woman this kind of guy would go for.

I think this is going to be the hardest part.

AND BY THE WAY I LOVE SWELL SEASON!! Glen Hasard rules!!!

In Response to Seven Things You Don't Know About Jason Segel

Watching this reminded me of that particular time I fell really in-love for the first time. It was the movie kind. The guy was walking towards me. It was late afternoon. The sun shone weirdly on him. And something I could not explain happened: I fell in-love. Just like that. The moment was irrational. I did not choose it to happen. All of a sudden everything made sense, those small things that took place that would finally lead me to that particular moment of realization when it dawned on me, hey, this is love.

But that was back in the 90s, and the other day my aunt found a single white hair attached to my scalp. Yes, I am getting old --- just like you and the rest of the population. We are just on our different stages of evolution, and I am in this stage where a significant amount of stress no longer leads to a drunken nightout but to an instant growth of white hair.

In that case, can I still believe in something that is irrational?

I am quite surprised that well --- I am flustered. I do like this guy. I really do. I can probably talk to him about everything and nothing, explore that puzzle of nothingness in everything, and the everything in nothing. I haven't smiled this long about a boy in a verrry long time.

*Okay, I gotta warn you, I am writing this with hearts as my pupils in a cartoony fashion ala Helga in Hey Arnold!*

What I like about this interview is that Jason Segel mentioned his supposed flaws which kinda makes him, say, a geek and a freak. A six-foot four Jewish guy in a Christian school who knows all things Muppets. This is incredible. If I was sixteen, I would be curious. Now that I am reaching the age times two of that, I am not only curious, I want to know this person.

I just thought it's interesting he "lost" one of his best friends to med school. I went through the very same thing, and I am kinda getting through that. It was quite tough one for me. Obviously it was tough for him as well; putting it up along with the seven things somehow makes it more trivial. Maybe I'll suggest we form a support system for people who feel abandoned as their friends left for med school. Create a slogan that goes, MED SCHOOL AIN'T GREY'S ANATOMY.

And oh, the puppet room. How Being John Malkovich! Maybe his favorite hobby is Being John Malkovich-ing which most of us can only dream about.

So what do I think about puppets? Don't I find a puppet collector creepy? Well. I carry a miniature action figure in my purse. Are we talking creepy yet? C'est normale!

Oh well, gotta cut this short. Back to working on that script-thang. I am not even supposed to be making an entry here, but this sudden need for inspiration led me to a crushee instead of me becoming the crusher.

At least I am starting to pick up clues that I can use for the proper neurolinguistic programming session!

Weekly Random Quote

I admit.  I still read horoscopes.  I picked up the habit as a kid because I liked to pretend I was really reading the newspapers (particularly that "proper" tabloid Tempo... is Tempo still alive?).  But of course, I would mostly skip to the middle spreadsheet, or whatever you properly call it, and ta-da --- the Entertainment section.  It was the 80s and at that time the movie trend called ST (sex trip) was fast emerging.  So as a seven or eight year-old, garbed up in my Catholic school uniform, after I buttered my toast and had a sip of Milo, I would pretend to be an adult in a company of adults, take the daily Tempo, and opened it exactly at the entertainment section where sexy pictures of Gretchen Baretto, Alma Moreno, Vivian Velez, etc. would flash me with their "hellos" almost hanging out to bid me good morning.

Anyway.  The comic strip was a standard visitation, but as I am talking about Tempo I am referring to tabloid-type of comics where there were actually illustrations of semi-naked women moving about in their pretty graphic world of abuse, revenge, and any classic nasty telenovela content.  I can still remember that particular strip called "Gomorrah" about this girl with very long hair... and her hair is actually alive!  And every time somebody rapes her or abuses her or robs her, the hair goes "hikhikhikhikhik" and starts killing the rapist/abuser/criminal through strangulation!

So after my daily dose of Gomorrah, I would go to the lighter side of my morning adult ritual and read my horoscope.  I was looking forward to pick up clues whether I would pass a quiz, meet a cute guy, or have my crush notice me; actually, these "picking up clues" taught me how to read between the lines, thus my reading comprehension was actually developing impressively as I read what was in store for Aries in the year 1987. Such a delightful habit, don't you think?

Well, I am not sure if Jason Segel is the type of guy who reads his horoscope, and as I gave up fortune telling years ago (oh my past is so interesting), I have decided to give him a weekly random quote instead.  It does not have to function as a fortune, but maybe some food for thought, some source of inspiration, some source of joy and laughter in a "you're crazy!" sense, mwahahahahaha.

Brilliant, innit?!

Acutally, Jason Segel is not my first recipient to this random quote thing.  This idea is from my idea with a different recipient, say, about a couple of months ago.  And as I am a sucker for random quotes or excerpts, I thought, what they hey, I HAVE NOT DONE THAT NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING BIT LET'S DISTRACT OUR READERS, SHALL WE???!!!

Alrighty then.

I decided to get my first random quote for Jason Segel from Nick Hornby's About a Boy mainly because --- that's the nearest book I can get my hands on.  It was actually wedged between the linings of the couch, and as I am writing tonight and I am at my parents', I assumed my sister Lei is reading it again and thus she hid it from my nephew who was probably in a tearing-the-pages-of-a-book spree earlier today.  Or something.  And yeah, another reason is it's a good book, and I loved the movie.  You know --- Hugh Grant, that adorable kid, Toni Collette, Rachel Weisz, great story, creative directing, and set against the lovely music of Badly Drawn Boy.

And please do take note, random quotes work when you just randomly pick up something from somewhere, totally unplanned.  So, this excerpt is the page where I accidentally opened to.  And as I have just finished reading the passage, well, I have no idea what the hey.

So Jason Segel, wherever you are, here's a random quote for you from About a Boy ---

November the nineteenth.  November the fucking nineteenth.  That was definitely a new record, Will noted darkly.  Last year it had been November the fucking twenty-sixth.  He hadn't made it through December for years now; he could see that when he was fifty or sixty he'd be hearing his first rendition of Santa's Super Sleigh in July or August.  This year it was a busker at the bottom of the escalator at Angel station, a cheerful attractive young woman with a violin who was obviously trying to supplement her music scholarship.  Will scowled at her with all the hatred he could muster, a look intended to convey not only that he wouldn't be giving her any money, but that he would like to smash up her instrument and then staple her head to the escalator steps.

I can't help but think, uh, it's quite unfriendly isn't it?  I mean, the passage.  Someone who hates Christmas. Stapling someone's head to the escalator after some episode of violin-smashing.  And it's quite interesting too --- there are dates.  Hahahahahaha.

Okay, I don't want to "read between the lines" and see how it works with respect to Jason Segel. Maybe the reason I opened the book to this page is that this can actually attract people to pick up a book and start reading again, similar to the so-called Harry Potter effect. (And please, don't ever mention Twilight as I think the only thing those books influenced is this silly vampire craze and silly Team Edward/Jacob insanity).



To wrap up this week's random quote, let me stir up my inner DJ and give you Badly Drawn Boy's "Something to Talk About"... which I have been quite singing about a boy.