Project: Meeting Jason Segel

As the year closes up and a new one closes in, I have decided to address this *thing* wherein I am going to come up with *something* to finally meet Jason Segel.  Seriously.  I can't wait for the day that I am going to finally post in this blog that I have a photo of Jason Segel and me, all chummy and cuddly, and maybe a bit giggly.  Now that would be really nice.

I remember writing a story/screenplay before about making schemes and although I am The God in such fiction I have to admit I was the one who controlled the fates of my creation.  I am my own creation, the same way my life is, but making that intersection with Jason Segel's can be quite a challenge.  Hence, the reason we are all alive and living, so to speak.

So.  The first step in the How of marrying Jason Segel is to meet him.  Last year, I had a huge problem how to get my ass to the US: no visa.  But!  This year I got mine and I was even in Los Angeles for a week-long business trip.  And as I have mentioned, I could have met Jason Segel... except that I didn't.  Anyway.

You know what they say about six degree of separation?  Well, we can use that force.  But then again, the other challenge is I do not want to seem like a sicko fan who stalks Jason Segel.  I don't even think of myself as a "fan".  I mean, I want to marry him but I am not the kind who would throw my undies at him, y'know?  Well, maybe not in a "fan" sense, haha!

Let me put it this way.  Either Jason Segel goes to me or I go to Jason Segel.  I am going to have to conspire with the universe that either those things happen.

In the meantime, 2012 is all about tenderness... according to Otis Redding.  And meeting Jason Segel is something straight out of a John Hughes design.

Have an incredibly awesome and legendary 2012!

How I Could Have Met Jason Segel

So let me tell you how it is.  It's almost midnight and I am munching on a "small" Snickers bar.  I like Snickers, but not as much I love Mars bars.  See, I like almonds.  But there are Snicker days and there are Mars days.  Sometimes  you gotta snicker than go out of this world.

Prior to having my Snicker moment I parked the car in the basement parking of my apartment building.  Before I managed to enter the gates, there was another car that was posed before the electronic fence.  And then the moment I managed to get the car into its slot, another came in.  So I thought, maybe I would find the answers in these really coincidental incidents.  Maybe the answer is either in these cars.

I am a sucker for symbolic shit, you see.

The answers I was looking for has been set in me since I was fifteen, and since I do not lie about my age the search has been with me for seventeen years.  Wow.  Seventeen years.  That's somebody's lifetime.  People lose their virginities before seventeen, heck, I know people who had babies before seventeen.  The point is, the whole time I have been looking for answers some people were already having their mini-revelations and some are already planning to have their shot in Teen Mom or Mom at Sixteen or however you call that sick reality TV shit.  Mine has been very elementary.  What's taking him so long?

I was actually on Makati Avenue, in the car, with Mirro on the passenger seat, when I made the inevitable monologue.  I said something like, "I am not looking for The One, I am looking for The Next One."  At thirty-two, you do not really give up, you just continuously move on.  What the hell is The One?  Does that even exist?

Is that sad or is that smart?  I can't tell.  Maybe I'll find out when I'm thirty-three.  Hopefully I won't find out when I'm thirty-five.  See, one of my dearest of dearest friends is a resident surgeon, and years before her license as a medical doctor she was texting me in the middle of her OB-GYN class or similar that we needed to get pregnant pronto.  I was probably twenty-eight.  See, we're approaching this in a very scientific manner.  We're women, hear us roar as we are suppressing the sound of our biological clocks.  Yeah?

So my Mirro was drunk, I was tipsy, and we were on this intersection called Buendia and Makati Avenue.  Mirro told me for the nth time that night that we were not going to find him here.  No.  I told him that the sad thing about that is a fortune teller already told me that when I was fourteen, but the huge problem is that I am here.  I am still here.

The first time, this day (or yesterday) Mirro said that was around ten in the evening. Or was it nine.  Or maybe it was eight.  At eight in the evening we were enjoying some coffee pana cotta and muddy chocolate cake in a diplomatic event at the Shangri-La Makati (yes, I surprisingly get invited to these things).  By eight-thirty we were heading to this dinner party hosted by another ex-pat in which the party was consisted of people from his region (Europe).  Mirro and I spent most of the time outside the party; he smoked and whined whilst I got drunk on Chilean wine and whined.  It was an incredible recipe for a Thursday night.

Stationed a few meters from a lighted pool on a drizzly Thursday night, we made some revelations.  I told him about Jason Segel because I did not want to get into too much details about Guy X, Guy Y, and Guy Z, those guys who were merely good on paper and that guy who seemed to like me genuinely enough to ask me on a proper date.  Anyway.  I told him that if I was desperate and if Jason Segel was in LA during the time I was there I could pull a string who could pull another string who could "get" me Jason Segel.  I told him I said no.  Not because I didn't want Jason Segel; it was because I didn't want to meet Jason Segel as the girl who could pull some "strings".  I mean, I am not relying on some miracle or other, but the thing is, like I had to share with my friend, Jason Segel is someone I can genuinely like, not as the Jason Segel but as Jason Segel.  Gets?

But I have to say this is all not just because of Jason Segel, of course.  This is not some kind of a De Clerambault Syndrome, however.  I'm done with erotomania, seriously.  I couldn't help but tell Mirro this because this is the truth:

"When I met (ex), I thought that he reminded me of that guy who played Marshall from HIMYM.  Then I fell in-love with (ex).  And then when it was over between (ex) and I, and I inevitably started seeing Jason Segel movies (thanks to HBO) and, yes, Jason Segel did remind me of (ex), but ironically Jason Segel helped me get over (ex).  Because I started to see another person as his own person (Jason Segel), even though I do not know him and the guy he reminds me of is the guy I could marry."

Sounds like a dang movie, right.  Ask me to write the screenplay, I am actually very good.

So that is the thing.

Since I was inevitably pushed into this career limbo,  I told my friend that if I had enough money, I would choose to spend some time in the US.  To meet Jason Segel?  That's, say, a fourth of it.  Heck, it is probably easier for me to meet him.  But along the lines of sitcom drama, from Robin Scherbatsky ending up as "Aunt Robin" to Robin Scherbatsky who is, at this point, in the limbo of finding love in so-called conventional terms, I have to say that if fortunes are aligned according to plan, how I will meet Jason Segel is probably as fated as me ending up on the corner of Buendia and Makati Avenue, drunk and whining why I am having such a great time on the night before an early client meeting.

See, the moral of the story is, do not drink and drive,

An Original Soundtrack for How To Marry Jason Segel

It's no secret Jason Segel is a Music Man.

Staying in on the lovely first Saturday of December may be a mark of a, say, loser aka social pariah, but I like to think so otherwise.  In fact, I am feeling quite l-o-v-e-l-y today even though I went home Saturday morning post-the usual Friday night of dining and drinking and whining (yes) a bit heady and bordering to pissed-tipsy.  Tipsy because I had a bottle and a fourth of alcomix (Tanduay Ice --- for the love of Zeus stay away from the red one!!!) and pissed because of something work-related.

But anyway!

I have been on a love song spree today and I have no idea why.  Let's call it hormones--- or maybe because I fell asleep to The American President on HBO some time between three and five in the morning (favorite line: "Well, first of all, the two hundred pairs of eyes aren't focused on me, they're focused on you.  And the answers are Sydney Ellen Wade, and because she said yes").  Now, as I am inspired by this song by Aqualung, "Brighter Than Sunshine" from A Lot Like Love (I thought the movie was sweet and alright), I suddenly have this idea of putting together the original soundtrack of How To Marry Jason Segel!

I am pretty proud of my taste in music that I have come up with the most interesting mix of CD mixes, hence it is inevitable that I will eventually come up with a special OST for this crazily silly blog called How to Marry Jason Segel!  (And I can't stop putting exclamation marks on everything!!!)

Okay, here's the exercise.  How do you come up with a soundtrack for a movie --- or any work at all?  Personally every time I come up with a mixtape I normally play it by ear.  It's like having this particular craving in your mouth, so for a playlist I think of what I would like to listen to when I drive.  I also like to think that it is similar to this scene from Disney's The Little Mermaid where Sebastian the lobster is creating this orchestra of sounds and scenery and mood so that bloody prince will finally kiss that bloody mermaid.  Ya' know?

I really do not want to expound the creative process but I guess this list of songs will already demonstrate what this is all about.  So listen up, open your ears and your heart as I share the musical story --- and experience --- of How to Marry Jason Segel.

1. "Paper Bag" by Fiona Apple

2. "Brass Pocket" by The Pretenders

3. "This Modern Love" by Bloc Party - this is a spontaneous version caught on a street in Paris

4.  "The Power of Orange Knickers" by Tori Amos

5. "Your Cover's Blown" by Belle and Sebastian

6. "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps" by Cake

7. "Lay and Love" by Bonnie Prince Billy

8. "One Life Stand" by Hot Chip

9. "Stars" by The xx

Baking Pie for Jason Segel

The Muppets Playing with Pie

Alright.  So Jason Segel has recently opened a Twitter account and naturallement I follow him.  I am, of course, glad to see that he happens to be Twitting or Tweeting or Twittering (whatevs) every time I go through recent tweets.  I have to admit, of course, that I did send Tweets directed at him: one, about the Muppets (that I will Tweet when I get to see it on February 2012 as the Muppets is indeed going to be out in the theaters here February 2012) and two, I just had to "at" him via a Tweet by The Dark Lord (Lord_Voldemort7) re: I am about to utter something I never thought I'd say... I hope the muppets beat the vampires this weekend.


And I hope so too!

I remember last year, during the time I was contributing articles for this food website and my head was spinning with cranberries and stuffings and Tofurkey, that I did come up with a fantasy Thanksgiving menu for Jason Segel.  Well, I read Jason's Tweet a few hours ago and he did mention about wanting some pies after visiting his parents.  Hmm, parents.  And pies.

Pies, pies, pies.  Now this reminds me of a friend who was so in-love with the TV show Pushing Daisies about this pie maker played by Lee Pace --- and speaking of Lee Pace, I don't think I'll ever forget this scene in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day where he sings a duet with Amy Adams.  If I Didn't Care. Such a lovely song.

But pie-making is something I'll attribute to this Kerri Russell film called Waitress.  I like how the character invents pies based on her emotions and I do remember a pie called "Bad Baby Pie" which (I think) has a cheesecake base with some... nuts?  Pecans?  It's so yummy for something so bad.

As Jason Segel wants some pie, I think I'll see about a Kerri Russell mode and imagine the perfect pie for him.  I am going to call it "Jason's Saturday Pie" *giggle*

I am not aware of Jason Segel's dietary and culinary preferences other than this photo of him sleeping on some Taco Bell wrappers but let's just say I would like to assume that he likes sweet and he'll probably go creamy.  And of course, there is this thing about him wanting to lose some weight.  So I guess I'll go on a sort of inventive route and come up with a pie topped with fruit with some added crunch and a creamy bite.  And chocolate, of course.

Let's go get some fresh graham crackers and ground them.  If you're up for it, get the chocolate flavored ones.  To make the pie crust, add some chopped cold butter and some cold water.  Form the pie crust (including the sides) with this dough and then chill in the fridge.

Make some cream cheese base and set aside.  Slice fresh strawberries.  Macerate the strawberries in Madeira wine for that peppery punch.  Add some sugar.

Take out the refrigerated pie crust.  Add a thin layer of cream cheese followed by a single layer of sliced strawberries.  Continue the layering.  Top the pie with un-macerated strawberries.  Drizzle with chocolate sauce.  Chill.  Drizzle more chocolate before serving.

Of course, for the drizzle, you can always opt for some heated chocolate hazelnut sauce in the form of melted Nuttella.  Or for something, say, healthier and deeper in taste: melt some premium dark chocolate with a bit of half-and-half and add a splash of espresso.  Seriously.

Yum.  Do you hear that, Jason Segel?  YUM.

I'm hungry.  Coffee with Milo in a few minutes, coming up!

Again --- is Jason Segel Married, Single, Dating, In a Relationship or "It's Six-Ways Complicated"?

Thank you Saturday Night Live! And Paul Rudd (for making out with dear Jason) --- for unbelievably spiking up the traffic of this lovely blog. And of course, the lovely Muppets, who very much deserve all the exposure and promotion and all the love. I promise I will introduce you guys to my nephew and my nieces (ages one month to 3 and 3/4 years), all three of them. I am also thinking of eventually getting a dog, so there you go.

I cannot help but look at the blog entries I wrote several months ago, particularly those from last year. Wow. I have been keeping at this for more than a year and STILL NO JASON SEGEL. I was in LA last June and I met up with someone who knows someone who knows him, and I was just around the block from the Universal Studios where he was probably tossing between shooting HIMYM and the Muppets. And still, NO JASON SEGEL.

We cannot help but be curious about this guy, especially as he revived the Muppets. I stumbled upon this article on him and the Muppets at Wired.com and I rather enjoyed the article as I look at the movie and its new "unlikely hero" from the eyes of someone who loves cinema and creativity and innovation. I haven't seen the movie but the article raised some valid points. Purist or progress? My stance is, I still love 2D animation and it does not take away the point of the cartoon. I'll know when I see the movie.

So! Is Jason Segel married, single, in a relationship or is it just plain six ways complicated?

Give the guy a break. He's busy. Then again --- maybe he'll end up marrying me. Or he'll just marry you. You know. We are but a box of chocolates.

Speaking of chocolates, I read this entry which I posted last year. I thought it was an interesting entry. Maybe I'll meet Jason Segel whilst he's playing some Muppet tune on the piano, say, "Rainbow Connection"... and I wander into the room, he sees me, stares at me, and his music suddenly changes to --- "Mahna Mahna"!!!

To end this, come and see more about Jason Segel and the prospect of marrying him.  Read this old blog entry --- it will blow your socks off:

How to Marry Jason Segel: How to Fall In-Love: I admit, the past few days have kinda veered me off my mission to marry Jason Segel (ehem) due to, say, sentimental tendencies. I am not su...

It's Sunday Night Live (!!!) with Jason Segel and the Muppets! YAY

YEAH BABY YEAH.

And that's why it's called w(h)inn(y)ing.

UPDATE: Apparently the Jason Segel SNL stint has been generally raved about.  And I saw a review via a link at The Huffington Post (yes, I read it for the Lifestyle section --- kidding, not) which ends up... here, the AOL TV website

I just want to say congratulations and mucho mucho mucho kisses to you Jason Segel!  I can't wait to watch your episode... when SNL gets a rerun here next year,

Is Jason Segel Married?

Sometimes I pop in here just to re-read the incredibly silly things I've written and --- yes --- as this blog is Google-powered, I actually have the power to see the traffic stats.  So yes, I know that YOU are reading this, most likely for the obvious reason: you want to know if Jason Segel is married or if there is a surefire way to marry him.

As of press time (haha) he is not (married, that is).  As of his recent press release, he does not even have a personal life, which can be deliriously translated as, "I do not have a girlfriend".  As per his recent interviews, he works seven days a week and should he have time not to work, he might spend it on the essentials of being alive which include eating and sleeping (or paying a visit to this particular "station" in his man-cave).

Apparently, he does not have time to see anyone nor maybe even "like" a girl in a high school-crush kind of way in which he ends up shuffling his feet behind this lucky woman, scratching his head, and eventually asking, "So, what are you doing Friday night?"

But as we are not in his life, what do we know.  Showbiz has tons of conspiracy.  Look at Kim Kardashian.  She managed to pull off a legal wedding with legit pay-offs.  What's with telling people "I'm single" and still live a double life?  I mean, last night there was this entertainment show (Insider?  I can't remember) which "exploded" the "headline" that Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart-or-Stuart-whatever might have "secretly" married, which, of course, gave way to a (stupid) Twilight promo that merely features the Bella-Edward wedding scene.  I mean, come on.  If Shakespeare managed to secretly keep a wife (from Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love, haha!), Jason Segel can do that as well!

Kinda strange I am writing this in a blog dedicated to the "how-to" of marrying a celebrity, huh.  Obviously I am pissed at something not Jason Segel-related and I am just being my insane self.

See, conspiracies.

Maybe this has something to do with my seeing The Invention of Lying last night on HBO.  The concept was terrific, it just felt dry overall but I generally liked it.  Lying is a necessity, you need to understand.  So if we adore Jason Segel, we just like the idea that he is not married.  It's for the good of his celebrity.   We are buying into the illusion that we can have that.

So.  The question remains.  Is Jason Segel dating someone?  Does he have a girlfriend?  Did he shag someone last night, last Friday night, that moment when Berlusconi resigned from power?

The answer is --- to quote Shakespeare in Love --- "I don't know, it's a mystery."

You want a peanut?

The thing with living in the Philippines is that you are not so sure if the American show you're watching is current or a replay.  But anyway, I just happened on Jason Segel on Jay Leno and I wasn't so sure at first if it's a recent interview despite the fact that the local cable channel has that "via satellite" mark at the upper left corner (which they sometimes "accidentally" include in reruns).  I like to assume that the interview is pretty recent as Jason Segel talked about the Muppets movie and this thing Judd Apatow recently tweeted about him needing some personal stories.  Oh, and of course he did this surprisingly good Andre the Giant impression --- You want a peanut?, Jason Segel growled.

I have been personally going through a challenging period, in addition to the fact that I had gotten really busy, hence I kinda had to put my "quest to marry" Jason Segel in the backseat.  But as I currently have some substantial time in my hands, the flame was, uh, re-flamed and I thought that he was hilarious and lovely and if I had a peanut I would shell it for him.

I found out the other day that the Muppets movie will be shown here in Manila in fucking February 2012.  That's insane.  To be honest I wasn't really into the Muppets growing up --- although of course I knew them --- but I am seriously looking forward to see this movie.  I do not really have any memory of being in-love with the Muppets which is why I think, as Jason mentioned in the interview, it would be great to have them back.  In this Hollywood era of reruns and rehash, I must say the Muppets does deserve a slot in this current wave... which I hope will end soon (oh Hollywood, are you aware that the global film community is laughing at you now?)

Anyway.  I have of course mentioned the obvious and that is the email address Jason Segel mentioned in the show.  I can't remember what the email address is but if he's looking for personal stories to recite to people who interview him, he can just say he's been searching for that girl from the other side of the world who has been blogging about marrying him --- which is, surprisingly, in a non-stalking manner.

And by the way, I just read somewhere that Jason Segel smokes.  Well.  I smoked a lot in college and I still smoke occasionally, but I wish he'll minimize the lung poison.  He will never be on the cover of Men's Health if he keeps at it.  Oh, and if the Jay Leno interview is recent, I must say he's looking pretty pretty good.  Can't wait to see the abs.

Meet Me in Montauk

--- alright, not Montauk, but I am oscillating between the universes of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Sex and the City.  I wonder why.  Hmmm.

But.  I am going to be at the Busan International Film Festival this week by way of the Asian Film Market.

Just saying.  Jason Segel likely dreams.

Not another shrubbery!

Sometimes when the going gets tough the salvation comes in the form of Roger the Shrubber.  Take that Knights of Ni!

I can just imagine Jason Segel starring in a Monty Python skit.  He is so... John Cleese.

Bad Teacher, Good Teacher

And so I finally saw Bad Teacher and I merely chuckled through it.  It was Friday, after all, facing a weekend that inevitably lacks some nice company as my friends are booked either for their careers or their self-imposition to the dark side (and I mean this in the Sideways context).  As I wanted a break from my work life (hey, it's a Friday) and I refused to go to the dark side (though apparently I wanted to vent out in manner of Diane Keaton by the well in Baby Boomer --- thanks to cable, post-Bad Teacher), I decided to hunt for Bad Teacher in the local cinemas and finally heaved a sigh of relief when I saw that Powerplant was still showing it.  So yeah, it sorta lasted a week in most cinemas here.  Like most movies lately.

See, I didn't really think it was a bad movie.  It had its moments.  But as I have noticed in so many films lately, films have become quite empty.  You know what they say about empty tin cans ---- loud but empty.  We are being drowned by spectacle without that much of a substance.

Hey, this is not to say that movies have to be constantly, say, deep, but somehow the story has been missing.  You know?  We scriptwriters are aware that the script is the blueprint of the film, but so far due to the lack of narrative strength these movies are starting to not make sense.  Everything is built on concept it's driving me insane.  And I am not just writing this down because in the past twenty four hours I've seen the trailer of that kid movie with Jessica Alba in it --- Spy Mama? --- whatever --- at least three times and I wanted to eat my head.  I thought, if I was ten or twelve years old, would I watch that movie?  Heck, when I was twelve my favorite movies were the Terminator, Star Wars, and Alien series, My Girl, Empire of the Sun, Dead Poets Society and Hayao Miyazake's Nausicaa.  I wonder what kids today like these days.  Glee the 3D Movie?

"I need work!  I need people!  I need a social life!  I need sex!"  
Baby Boomer really made up for Bad Teacher. 

Anyways as I am not an airhead Jason Segel fan girl but a level-headed woman who admires him so much that I'd marry him (yes), I just want to express that I wish Jason Segel will eventually star in good movies.  Bad Teacher and Gulliver's Travels were disappointments albeit the fact that he was so cute in them.  I miss the Sarah Marshall and I Love You, Man type of films, but hey, I guess he should eventually move on and star in films that showcase his versatility.

Which is why I am so looking forward to the Muppets movie.

I was watching You've Got Mail earlier, and this got me thinking: maybe Jason Segel should write and star in a musical... without puppets.  You know.  Like Glee for adults which is not necessarily Mamma Mia!  Something like... Funny Girl.  But with guys.

Well, who am I to give Jason Segel advice, but I am going to express it anyway.  I really wish him longevity because I bet he loves what he does.  And I do know that he is going to be more successful than he is and frankly it will break my heart if he concedes to doing Dancing With the Stars or some celebrity-themed reality TV show for the purpose of exposure, if you know what I mean.  I hope he'll be like Tom Hanks --- why not?  As I want to marry him, it won't hurt to imagine myself in the shoes of Rita Wilson.  Yeah?

So my dear Jason Segel, here is some inspiration for you.  This is a clip from Funny Girl which is one of the funniest, epic films.  This scene is just so funny it's awesome.  Geloven!

Dear Jason Segel: Nosferatu

Dear Jason Segel,

I saw Nosferatu today at the 5th Silent Film Festival (here in Manila, Philippines --- duh).  They screened the movie with a live choir from the Far Eastern University (here in Manila, Philippines --- duh) providing the sound and music, and even though it wasn't perfect I thought I would probably dream about the movie in an hour or so (it's 1:30 in the morning here in Manila, Philippines --- duh).

The reason I am writing you about Nosferatu is that I just realized you wrote a Dracula musical for/in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Was it a real full-play on Dracula?  Because I thought that would be awesome.  People will not tire of Dracula --- heck, people won't even tire of bleeping Twilight, what more of the real classic vampyr story that do not have shrieking teenagers in it?  And I also realized, whilst watching the film, that I actually love Dracula's story.  Seriously.  I kept thinking, "I feel sorry for the cursed".  No wonder I love True Blood (not just the cursed part but the sex part as well!!!  Mwahahahahahahaha!)

Anyway, I am posting this brilliant piece called Dracula's Lament --- starring you oh brilliant you --- who else, duh.

Love,

The Girl Who Wants to Marry You, aka The Girl Who is Keeping Herself From Posting a Nasty Blog Post About that Elitist Dickhead Who Wrote in a National Newspaper Column that English is the Language of the "Learned" and that Filipino is What You Use When Talking to the Dishwasher

Less Padding for Jason Segel

So apparently Jason Segel has lost some weight. I have heard for that tidbit weeks ago, maybe in some clips along with the Bad Teacher promo. Again, by some accident I saw this Letterman interview, and --- well, well, well --- he looks mighty great. Slimmer and leaner. As I've said I liked him even with that bit of padding, but of course I think it's great that he's been "eating less" and doing some exercise. Since I have been trying to be leaner and slimmer lately as well, I relate to him a lot.

(Oh, and Jason Segel, what I meant by me trying to be leaner and slimmer does not mean I am overweight. I was just thinner when I was younger because I was more athletic, and I have recently grown into a woman with a bit of curves.)

Anyways, thankYouTube, I just saw this whole interview and I must say that in addition to the fact that he is looking incredible I thought he was really funny. This is the kind of guy I would love to hang out with, and it seems that his sense of humor is that special kind: with a hint of slapstick but smarter. He wrote and starred Forgetting Sarah Marshall which, in my opinion, is one of the best rom-coms since this millenium began. Something a Woody Allen enthusiast would love as well.

I realized I've only seen very few Jason Segel interviews --- maybe about two. Well, this just shows that even though I want to marry him I am not obsessed with him, and seriously I haven't even seen Bad Teacher. Not because I don't want to see it, but because the theaters here in Manila is not showing it yet.

Now I wonder if it was picked up for local distribution at all. I hope they'll show it, the theaters are crazy if they didn't as the movie has an obvious market here.

In the meantime, here's the Letterman interview:



Geez. He has a lucky assistant to see him sleep with Taco Bell wrappers on his chest. He could have worn a bigger shirt to hide that belly! (hahaha)

I have also recently learned that my supposed trip to Sta Monica this year for the American Film Market had to be scrapped from this year's plans. That made me quite sad. True, I would probably have the same chance as I did last June when I was in LA, but heck, we all like to take shots at the moon. Ergo, I must meet Jason Segel before marrying right?

Is there some cosmic force out there that will at least lead me to step one? I hope so.

Dear Jason Segel (and directly quoting ee cummings)

You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.

Come with me, then,
And we'll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.

Ah, come with me!
I'll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I'll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probable stars;
I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.

- e.e. cummings

Slapping the Bass

Here's a Dylan cover brought to you by DMB. I hope Jason Segel likes this stuff --- I kinda assume he does.

On a (Imagined) Vacation with Jason Segel: Metro Manila

A year ago I came up with a travel itinerary for a guy I really liked so I thought maybe I can come up with one for Jason Segel should he decide to visit the Philippines.  Since I am a true sucker for traveling, travel "plans" is one of my specialties as, come to think of it, I do not really make plans in strict-itinerary sense.  Call it a rough guide, a draft map, a shot at the moon.  Trust me --- the said guy that I liked claimed that he had an incredible time.  And so did I.

But of course, the main difference is that I was actually traveling with this guy that I really liked, and Jason Segel, well, he does not even know I exist.

As I am currently a bored gal thinking of places to go, might as well go the blog venue, take the fantasy of Jason Segel, and write away... eh?

MANILA

Never underestimate Manila's notoriety for traffic, pollution, population, and yeah, maybe a bit of so-called "eyesores" here and there.  They're all true.  I've lived in Manila all my life and these things still amaze me.  I went to work this morning and spent almost three hours on my arse driving, all the way from the suburban north to an office tower in Makati.  Three hours can already take you to Subic or Clark field.  See, urban traffic is really bad.  Those who protest or get offended have nothing better to do but to protest.  So we agree--- it can be hell driving around Manila.

And so does driving in LA.

So what I am saying is that as traffic is horrendous in this city that I love/hate, this opens up more chances of spontaneous explorations!  Discover side streets and "secret passages".  The initial intention to drive all the way to Quezon City for the best street foods courtesy of the Diliman campus of the University of the Philippines can lead to a sudden reroute to Taguig where the infamous balut (duck embryo-egg) is made.  Or you can get a small paper plate of Chinese noodles for ten bucks somewhere in Quiapo, that place where Andrew Zimmern of Bizaare Foods visited for the show's episode on the Philippines.  Or there is always the Manila Bay and the restaurants where you can purchase your fresh sea food and stalls will cook them for you for a fee.

See, wherever you go, there is always something that Manila has to offer.  And I guess this is something Jason Segel will love based on the following points:

1. Jason Segel is a musician --- Manila has one of the best (secret) music scenes in the world.  Whether Jason is up for some nice and serious loungey music in the city, ie Sinosikat in Martini's at the Mandarin Oriental or some serious unsigned underground music, Manila is the best place to fulfill one's hunger for a diverse auditory hunger.  Independent bands play in venues such as Saguijo, Bside at The Collective, 70s Bistro, and a host of others in various parts of the metro.  Music veterans play in venues like the Music Museum and hotel bars, retro music is the surefire Friday tunes in RJ Bistro at the Intercontinental Manila, and for the clubbing experience, talented DJs have been spinning in places like M Cafe, Repuliq, Time, and a host of others.

See, if you are a brilliant musician like Jason Segel, Manila is a great place to explore.  Besides, I can imagine him hanging out with the likes of Ely Buendia, Jugs and Kel, and even Sammy Asuncion.  Naaaakks.

2. Jason Segel is an actor --- okay, so commercial-movies-wise I am not sure if this is Jason Segel's cup of tea (sorry), but I guess he'll have a blast watching "indie" films.  From the quirky Maximo Oliveros to the latest Quark Henares film on rock and roll to... say, a Brillante Mendoza film.  Come on!  We have incredible undiscovered talents here, these treasures come in secret handfuls!

3. Jason Segel, I would assume, likes to eat (and drink) --- Manila will never be far behind when it comes to culinary experiences.  And drinking, of course!  Wine bars like Cav and Barcino's are great places to just open a nice bottle and unwind whereas local stores sell the latest flavored drink based on the local vodka.  You name it, Manila (and the rest of the Philippines) is very much in the wave that can please one's palate and attack one's liver.  Yowza.

4. Jason Segel, I would assume, likes to see things --- Manila has the most astounding ("astounding" in different meanings, haha) scene in the world.  All sorts of buildings, all sorts of people, all sorts of things to do... which includes sitting in traffic for an hour to go someplace that is fifteen minutes away on Sundays... seriously.  Manila is the place to be.

So, on this (imagine) Manila vacation with Jason Segel, here is my Top 5 things to do:

1. Take the walking historical tour with Carlos Celdran, etc.  Walk should include Intramuros and the Chinese cemetery.
2. Eat and drink our way around the city.
3. Ride public transpo to see the real Manila (MRT, LRT, PUJs, tricycle, sidecar... taxi?)
4. Walk the stretch of Roxas Boulevard from the Manila Bay to the Sofitel (end the journey with a nice drink at the poolside bar)
5. Participate in a noontime show and play games.  I would highly recommend Eat Bulaga... and then maybe we can visit the one on the other network!

So there you have it.  This vacation will definitely mix Hangover 2 and Lost and Translation.  Where else can you have an experience like that?

So come to me, baby.

PS - Oooohh, 30 minutes more and I then I get to go home.  Will continue thinking of silly things!

Jason (and John) and the Sex Doll

For some reason I found this on TMZ:

http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/21/john-krasinski-and-jason-segal-bachelorette-party-karaoke/#comments-anchor

Jason Segel and John Krasinski singing in some videoke bar in Michigan with a sex doll.  Mygoodness.  I had a huge crush on John Krasinski. I think it was great of them to play along "crashing" this bachelorette party.

Come to think of it, nice guys are hard to come by no?

Just a sec --- is that a MALE sex doll?

Imagining Meeting Jason Segel Part Two

Last night, an acquaintance chatted me up on Facebook and practically begged me to introduce her to someone --- to anyone.  I almost pointed out to her that me and my friends are not exactly meeting decent guys ergo should we meet someone who is tolerable enough for a few hours, we'll definitely keep this guy to ourselves until we finally realize that the whole arrangement is pointless and was just something to let the time pass.

And of course it can't be helped if half the time it is the guys who get interested in us merely to pass the time.

See, people become hobbies whether it is for entertainment, ego boosting, and yes, ecstasy (the sex part, not the drugs).

So the question is, should I get the opportunity to meet Jason Segel in a pretty rowdy environment, say, along the lines of the Thai Full Moon party (and we all know how random and wild those can get!), should I drug him and then drag him to the nearest bush?

(Dear Jason Segel --- the abovementioned scenario is purely hypothetical, just an example of a potential incident where I --- or any girl who wants to marry you --- can take advantage of you.  Think of The Hangover, the first one not the second one.  And maybe not the Jennifer Aniston part of Horrible Bosses though that's probably hilarious!)

You know what, I don't have an answer for this because frankly I know that life is not the movies.  It is a RARE incident that you will meet a guy, hit it off, and then it will be all romantic.  Ninety five percent (or more) of the time, I must say, the guy is looking for action.  And yes, the girl may be looking for action as well.  It will be COMPLETELY delusional to say that should a hypothetical incident like this take place between Jason Segel in me, we will just take long walks on the beach under the full moonlight and share sweet kisses.  And then get married the next day.  COME ON.

Besides, may I remind the romantics out there, Jesse and Celine in Before Sunrise actually end up having sex in the park.  So there.

So--- am I saying that should I meet Jason Segel I am going to make sure he gets laid?

All I can say is if the circumstances are right and appropriate, he's going to be a really lucky guy and I am going to be a really really lucky girl.  If not, well, it's always nice to meet someone incredibly brilliant.

Anyways, my apologies for this silly post.  I have been frustrated with my real life dating life lately.

Jason Segel, what's taking you so long?

Imagining Meeting Jason Segel

I am quite amazed with the fact that even though I haven't written here in a while, a few souls somehow manage to wander to this blog by means of accident.  Thank  you, Google.

I was in Los Angeles early June, and I did daydream I would meet Jason Segel during this brief stay.  The possibilities were huge --- I was there on a business trip which involved Hollywood people.  Hollywood producers, to be exact.  And I did have my celebrity encounter, in the form of Mr Morgan Freeman, who shook my hand after looking up at him in a Puss-n-Boots manner, huge eyes, humbled expression, and purring, "Sssiiiirrr".

Hey, I just had to do something.

Meeting Jason Segel was not easy.  Anyway, I only had a week in LA and most of the days there had to be spent on something work-related.  And I wasn't exactly meeting the biggest Hollywood honchos, but mostly producers who were looking for that one tremendous break that would catapult them to a certain international status.  Oh sure, I did meet one producer who had a name, and he was quite friendly, and I couldn't help give him my business card (which I hope he'd keep so he could contact me should he grow an interest in the business my company is offering).  And I did attend this session which involved important producers.  But let's see.  It's all about how many degrees of separation I was from Jason Segel, and I must say, I was probably a couple of degrees away from him.

Yay, progress.

Before I went to LA, I kinda imagined what would be the most feasible way of meeting Jason Segel.  And truly, knowing me, I went the romantic route and thought that the best way to meet him was by accident.  Or a coincidence.  Whatever.

I was inspired by this story involving Glen Hansard of the Swell Season.  I read somewhere while he was in this hotel, a waiter suddenly approached him and gave him a bottle of wine.  He looked at the "fans" and they were --- ta-da! --- Jason Segel and Paul Rudd.

Imagine!

But of course, that was Glen Hansard who is also a brilliant, BRILLIANT person.  Very much deserving of that bottle of wine.

So I thought of the possibility of hanging out in some hotel in LA and then seeing Jason Segel, and then maybe I would send him a bottle of... water (I am not so sure if I can afford a GOOD bottle of wine in LA!  If it's in Manila, not a problem at all).  Oh, I don't know.  Anyway, I'll probably pull off a stunt like that, and he'll probably go, "What the hell", and I'll muster all the courage, approach him, and say, "Hi... I came here to MARRY YOU!"... and I can see him all confused but then I try to save myself and say something stupid like, "Er, I was just trying something from you Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but instead of 'murder', I thought of saying 'marry', which is really, REALLY silly, really..."

Hm.  Thank God that didn't happen, no?

Actually, I know this guy who used to be in Hollywood who knows someone who can "get" me Jason Segel.  I was surprised with the prospect.  But then he joked I wanted to sleep with Jason Segel, and I just had to say "Nooooooo!!!".  He was serious, but really.  I didn't pursue that possibility at that point.  Not because I didn't want to meet him, but because... I don't know.  It would be awkward.  I don't want to be introduced to Jason Segel as the girl who just wants to hook up with him.  Should the time comes that I do get to meet him, this current stance of wanting to marry him should remain a secret.  Sort of.  It's so high school to be introduced in manner of, "Hey, I want to introduce you to this girl ... and SHE HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU!"

Geez.

Anyway.  I am currently thousands of miles away from Jason Segel.  I don't know when I am going to be in LA again.  If I should meet him in the future, I think it will happen in situation that I haven't really imagined yet.

And good thing I have a life to think about!

Pre V-Day for Segel

Okay, so I haven't written in a while.  My apologies --- I just started in this cool job.  A job that might lead me closer to Jason Segel!!!!

*sillydance*

I saw a HIMYM rerun today (the one with Max and the small penis and Zoey) and thought if I still wanted to marry Jason Segel.  See, as I mentioned before, such proclamations would eventually meet its tests, and these tests are signs that you are (I am) actually living.  Yes, I have a life.

So have I met anyone I wanted to marry or someone I could date?  W-ell.  There are a few potentials (actually it's only one, and it's not even a potential, really.  Just someone who probably has a crush on me as he really hasn't gone around asking me out on a date-date.  Not my type, but I am single and my options are open.  How do I know he has a crush on me?  He's asked me out before but I wasn't available that night, and there has been hints from him about going on a mini-break.  Oh for Christ's sake.)

But anyway.  I do miss Jason Segel.  But since I started this job more than a month ago I barely had the time to watch television.  I even barely had a quiet weekend, something was always happening.  But today which is also known as Valentine's weekend --- it is pretty quiet.  I had dinner, I am now in a coffee shop, and I am meeting a friend in a few minutes to check out some bands and have a couple of drinks.  I was planning to have a massage instead, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to have another standard-issue evening out: getting a bit drunk and hopefully meeting someone.

Augh, how pathetic is that?

So, Jason Segel, as I do not know you yet and I live on this side of the planet, I am having a life right now and I am opening myself up for a potentially awesome and maybe romantic Valentine's Day.  I don't know how's that going to happen, but who knows?  Maybe you're in blood Manila for all I bloody know.

Now decaf myself and to inject myself with some lovely alcohol and live music.

From a blank postcard from long ago

"Une partie de vous grandit en moi.  Et ainsi vous voyez, il est vous et moi ensemble pour toujours et jamais separe, peut-etre en distance, mais jamais du coeur"